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Once Upon A Time…

I am a bit of a hoarder. In the sense that I like to know I have things, but I don’t like to deal with them. So I let them sit in boxes and forget I have them, until I get so annoyed that I have boxes cluttering my room and I go through them. That’s when I discover MAGICAL THINGS!!!

Such as:

  • an envelope full of baby pictures and things I made when I was a kid
  • a $15 unused gift card to itunes
  • my contacts prescription (!)
  • 15 books of music + loose sheet music for voice and flute, some from THE 8TH GRADE.
  • riding spurs
  • and an art project… 

…from a class I took at Cooper Union a few years ago where we had to cut out pictures from magazines and write a story based on them. 

I must have been in fine form that night, because, well, here I’ll share.

Once upon a time there was a girl. This girl, like all other girls she knew, loved Jesus. She prayed to him, sang to him… she even got his name tattooed on her body without her mother’s permission – that’s how much she loved Jesus. She also, like all other girls she knew, loved to be beautiful. Being beautiful was imperative in the town she lived in, much more important than being intelligent. (But not as important as loving Jesus, of course.)

Now, this girl did a very, very good job at loving Jesus and being beautiful. But she had a weakness: cake. Especially chocolate cake. She would often walk (in disguise) to the cake shop across town. Everyone was so nice and friendly there, but she always had an ache in her heart. She knew, because her Bible School teacher in 1st grade told her, that Jesus hates cake and it makes you ugly. Her Bible School teacher also happened to be her mother, who reminded her every day that her sinful desires for thick, moist, sugary desserts would lead her straight to the fires of hell.

Today is her 16th birthday and she celebrated with a wheatgrass shake that her mother had shipped all the way from the big city 50 miles away. They all lived “happily” ever after.

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